Woken up by an uncomfortable sensation, I stare out into the darkness that made up my room. The air felt wrong and I didn’t feel alone. Hesitantly, I look down at my feet. Eyes peer above the ladder leading to the top bunk where I lie; dark, dangerous, and familiar eyes that seem to still the whole of my body. I can’t move and I can only pretend to be asleep. Had I imagined those eyes. Has my mind gone insane? I wait and listen as I hear the creak of my door opening slowly and closing again. Suddenly, I can hear my heart pounding. What had just happened? Why was he in my room and why was he just staring at me? Tears stream down my face as fear washes through my veins.
I will never fight
to see the day that doesn’t turn to night.
You watch my eyes,
no need to hear my voice.
You know what I hide
no point in speaking lies.
You listen to my heart
with you head against my chest.
I can feel it beating hard.
Your love puts my body to rest.
You touch my skin
and dreams fade in.
There is no future, there is no end.
As long as I can smell
the bed of roses you had me dwell,
As long as I can taste
the sweet linger of your kiss,
I will slow and turn from haste
so that you, I never miss.
I will raise from the ashes to start a new.
My old life just wouldn’t do.
A new painting my future will devise.
A new wind will push the tides.
The love of my soul will always stay still
and my love holds by my memory’s will.
I wonder if you’ll forget about me
or if you’ll just end up running back.
Well I can tell you it is a long street,
you’ll have to make up for what you lack.
Carry me into the fire
let it burn my fear, I am tired
of running from in its surrounding empire.
I am a prisoner under your spell
I do as you wish, as you tell.
I want to live on my own.
I want to crush your wall of stone,
stop you from keeping me from home.
Your power is undenieable,
you reak of the most unearthy smell.
but what I know, I know well.
I don’t exist in your world.
You exist in mine.
You play these tricks to steal my time.
Made me forget the control I possess.
Well now I am ready to clean up the mess.
Bad choice, I knew
when I went down the wrong avenue.
Too bad, too late.
There’s no getting rid of this mistake.
Clenched teeth as I walk down,
not sure how to turnaround.
Oh well, no use
in getting scared of the sure abuse.
Beg me for my help,
say you want nobody else.
As I lift my hands freely,
you turn around and leave.
No wonder your all the way over there.
My resistance, you can’t bear.
Well maybe I act too well
when I act like I don’t really care.
It’s an act easy to live in,
where pain does not exist.
Though love is more vital than pain within
and love requires a caring fist.
Knocking on an open door,
not sure what you’ll take me for.
I wish I had the confidence to walk in
as the person I have always been.