Desperate for forgiveness
without clarity of mind.
There is what you wish to get
and what you will actually find.
I am not trying to erase time
but I’d like to forget mine…
When one does not know them self
how can they act accordingly?
I miss you dearly
or atleast the person I thought you use to be.
When you learn who you are
maybe I can meet you.
But this person infront of me,
will not do.
A lot of people understand that knowledge is good. That learning new things are good. Yet, I rarely see people searching for the right kind of knowledge. Some knowledge is heart breaking, some knowledge is a faster way of gaining success in a hobby or career, some knowledge is eye-opening and shocking and some knowledge helps people grow as individuals. Society as taught us one major thing: You are a niave child; you spend your child hood preparing for the adulthood; when you are an adult, you get married and then you have children; you retire and you watch you children have children. It’s tiring the way society trys to make us believe that the only way you do all of this and be happy is if you work and pay the bills, and whatever extra money you posses is used to pay for needless entertainment to distract us from the fact that it actually isnt the only way for us to be happy and that being happy doesnt actually require the standard guidlines of this human time-line. We don’t need children to be happy and we don’t need spouses. We don’t need money or glamorous job titles. We don’t need education or the whole worlds acceptance. The most important knowledge a person can posses is the knowledge of one’s selfawarness and of love. We should be spending our time learning who we are and how to love someone else for who they are.
What do you feel when you hear the word mistake? What pictures form in your head? The norm seems to have a negative reaction. It is easy to believe the mistakes are bad and I really disagree. Mistakes are inevitable. In order to get to a point where you never make mistakes, you would have to understand everything, know everything, be the wealthiest person of knowledge. And unless that happens to be you, I know there is only way one to get to a point of abosulte wisdom. Mistakes are the roots of new knowledge. By my understanding, new knowledge is always welcome and a positive outcome. So then how can mistakes be bad?
There is a hate inside me for humanity and a love for its incredibility. The hate stems from the easy neglect of relatability. We have created a society where individuals strive to gain power by the destruction of others. It seems so easy for people to forget that we all are equally important and that one life’s happiness will never compare to everyone’s happiness. Can you imagine a world where everyone worked together? A place where each person could sit down with anyone and have an enlightened conversation and feel understood and accepted. When people come together, great ideas and knowledge combine to create an even greater revelation. Imagine if every human shared their deepest thoughts, what consensus would we find?
When I look in the mirror I am tempted to see a young woman that has not stuck by her morals because of fear or to see a person that I expect I should become. I am not defined by my past and I am not defined by my expectations of the future. It takes a lot of thought to be able to stand in the present and grasp that the present is the only time that exists.
When I can see the sadness in your eyes disappear and bring forth a look of acceptance that life will never get better, it breaks my heart. I have been in a world of silence; a world that makes no sound that matters. But that world was a lie. You fight back and forth, trying, not to discover the truth, but instead to believe it. The answers lie infront of you and what lies behind is a sequence of reasons to doubt them. I found my way out of the world I imagined I was in and into a world I created by choice. This world is not made of tides that push me away but by the waves I created to push me forward. This world is made of a sky that I can fly in and a ground that keeps me standing. There are trees that hide me from the brillant lies and flowers that influence me to smell the truth. The truth is, I can only see what I allow myself to see and I am learning how to deflect what I do not need. I have wisdom that can make you fly with me but I do not hold the power to create your wings. The truth is, we can only have control of ourselves. My greatest wish is that you may find your wings and witness a world that is worthy of trust.