Permanent Lines

I haven’t lost you today.

Two people standing upon their graves.

The light shines down through me.

I do not feel but I can see.

The worlds spins and so does my mind.

Each decision drawing a permanent line.


Fear in My Veins

Woken up by an uncomfortable sensation, I stare out into the darkness that made up my room. The air felt wrong and I didn’t feel alone. Hesitantly, I look down at my feet. Eyes peer above the ladder leading to the top bunk where I lie; dark, dangerous, and familiar eyes that seem to still the whole of my body. I can’t move and I can only pretend to be asleep. Had I imagined those eyes. Has my mind gone insane? I wait and listen as I hear the creak of my door opening slowly and closing again. Suddenly, I can hear my heart pounding. What had just happened? Why was he in my room and why was he just staring at me? Tears stream down my face as fear washes through my veins. 


A lot of people understand that knowledge is good. That learning new things are good. Yet, I rarely see people searching for the right kind of knowledge. Some knowledge is heart breaking, some knowledge is a faster way of gaining success in a hobby or career, some knowledge is eye-opening and shocking and some knowledge helps people grow as individuals. Society as taught us one major thing: You are a niave child; you spend your child hood preparing for the adulthood; when you are an adult, you get married and then you have children; you retire and you watch you children have children. It’s tiring the way society trys to make us believe that the only way you do all of this and be happy is if you work and pay the bills, and whatever extra money you posses is used to pay for needless entertainment to distract us from the fact that it actually isnt the only way for us to be happy and that being happy doesnt actually require the standard guidlines of this human time-line. We don’t need children to be happy and we don’t need spouses. We don’t need money or glamorous job titles. We don’t need education or the whole worlds acceptance. The most important knowledge a person can posses is the knowledge of one’s selfawarness and of love. We should be spending our time learning who we are and how to love someone else for who they are. 


When I look in the mirror I am tempted to see a young woman that has not stuck by her morals because of fear or to see a person that I expect I should become. I am not defined by my past and I am not defined by my expectations of the future. It takes a lot of thought to be able to stand in the present and grasp that the present is the only time that exists.