I feel ashamed that I am not strong enough to move on.
I’ve never kept it far from my mind though it’s been so long.
When I feel close to someone, I try to find the comfort I need.
Only to regret the vulnerability.
Vulnerability makes me feel anxious and dumb.
Why am I so scared to trust and allow myself freedom.
Can I ever not care or care without pain.
Because this pain is keeping me from what ever remains.
Light is my home but I live in darkness.
Am I one of the people who can flip the light switch?
Woken up by an uncomfortable sensation, I stare out into the darkness that made up my room. The air felt wrong and I didn’t feel alone. Hesitantly, I look down at my feet. Eyes peer above the ladder leading to the top bunk where I lie; dark, dangerous, and familiar eyes that seem to still the whole of my body. I can’t move and I can only pretend to be asleep. Had I imagined those eyes. Has my mind gone insane? I wait and listen as I hear the creak of my door opening slowly and closing again. Suddenly, I can hear my heart pounding. What had just happened? Why was he in my room and why was he just staring at me? Tears stream down my face as fear washes through my veins.